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Keys to Interpersonal Harmony

4/5/2020

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The expression "interpersonal harmony" does not do the concept I will explain in the following essay complete justice.  The German expressions are "harmonisches zusammenleben" or "harmonisches zusammensein" which translate into "to live and be in harmony with one another."

Much unhappiness would be eradicated if we simply accepted that we have to interact with others on some level.  Yes, there are many introverts who prefer spending their time alone or even practiced "social distancing" before it became a necessity.  However, hardly anyone no matter how reclusive they wish to be, would want to live like Tom Hank's character in the movie Cast Away or to otherwise be some lone pioneer on some new frontier. Humans are pack animals, and we need others.  As gifted as many of us our, we can't provide everything for ourselves and need to rely on others to bake our bread or supply clean water, for example.  And for that reason alone, no matter how insignificant the job may seem, everyone has an integral role in the optimal functioning of a community or society.  

So, now that we understand that we have to interact with one another on some level, how do we best do that?  Here are a few suggestions:

Firstly, try to understand and honor that every human being is equal in the worth and what they deem important to them.  Many problems arise simply as the result of a person not feeling valued.  

Secondly, respect any differences or individual needs, interests, concerns or fears.  Being considerate helps a person feel valued.  

Thirdly, communicate and be prepared to negotiate. Involve them in any decision-making process that affects them and then strive to find a good balance. I purposely use the word balance instead of compromise.    

When people do not feel honored or respected, they have a tendency to become resentful and passive-aggressive and they might even resort to outright sabotage, especially if it turns into a game of covert power and control.  This often starts in childhood when children are simply told what to do regardless of how they feel about it.  

Conversely, when people feel honored and respected, they tend to wish to be more yielding and flexible in terms of collaboration, as there is less of a need to exercise power and control.  
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